When Hope Fades

I have been in love… Many times actually. But I don’t know that I have ever been in love the way I was in love with HIM… That easy, life-giving feeling… I can honestly say that I’ve only experienced that but once in my life…

I’ve tried. I’ve tried for years to reexperience that again. I’ve lived it out to the best of my ability, only to find myself making up stories in my head, having written about them and dreamed of a better day… But I honestly have yet to experience that again. And sadly, it sometimes feels impossible.

When you love someone with every breath you take, it is hard to ever recapture that again… You get close, but that feeling just never really comes to light. It’s a sad reality. Something is always askew. And it leaves you doubting if true love can ever be really real again. Especially at my age.

The reality that people are not perfect. And people are not perfectly made to be with imperfect people…

But in the last few months, I have found that I am unwilling to give up on hope. Because though the perfect man may not be out there, the perfect love may be. Someone who, as imperfectly perfect as me, is imperfectly perfect for me.

Hope may fade, but hope is not lost. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I will not give up. Because I found it once, so I know that it is a possibility… I may have given up the first time, but I have hope I will find it again. But it must be real. It must be true. Otherwise, it’s the same cycle I’ve been in and what’s the point?!

This is my reality. This is my dream. This is my hope. And though faded, hope is still alive. And I am still alive. Which means there is still a chance that someday, my prince will come…