The White Flag

“I got this!”

It is a phrase I have used all too often in my life. It’s a good one. For me it states that even though life may suck and is terribly tough at the moment, I will get through it. I will conquer. I got this!

Humility is not a quality I readily possess. I am a very proud woman. I know my strengths, and I have many. I can truthfully declare that with God’s presence and help in my life, I have been to the depths of hell and have made it through. And I am overly prideful in the fact that, while I ask God for His help, I have not typically needed a fellow human’s help to get through. Oh, it’s nice to have a friend or family member to talk at and complain to and even receive some momentary help or council from. Yet, at the end of the day, I do not lean too heavily on others because… I got this! I’ve become accustomed to pride. Those closest to me even have a running joke… I am so humble, they should build a statue in honor of my humility! (Funny, not funny.)

However, pride comes before a fall. And I have officially fallen…

These past weeks I have been in a place where I have HAD TO ask for more help than I have cumulatively had to ask for in 20 years. I have been in a place that has way too often REQUIRED me to ask for another’s physical intervention. I have had to miss numerous hours of work, family activities, and even the basic events life has afforded. It has pissed me off that I cannot even do the simplest of things on my own. I have cried and begged, begged and cried that all this be taken from me. Yet, here I am… In my life I have known defeat, but nothing like this. It has all hit together, and it has all hit HARD! I know there is a silver lining, but where? And what do I take away from this?

I can honestly say there is a silver lining. I may only see glimpses, and they may be momentary, but I have been abundantly blessed by the real fact that the people I call my people have shown up for me in ways I cannot ever repay, ways I would have never fathomed to ask them to be there for.

And the lesson… I have learned we are all capable of walking through this life on our own, but why would we if we don’t have to?! Needing someone is not a weakness. We are weaker alone, for strength comes in numbers. And my numbers… they hold a multitude of strength.

So, I got this! Because of Him… and because of YOU…

XOXO