Reality Pains

Have you ever hurt? You awaken in the morning with an ache in your entire being?

I have had my moments. Moments when facing the day ahead just seemed like too big of a task. No desire. No motivation. None. Because you know that if just while laying there you feel the pain, the moment you get up, it will become even more real. You have been here before. You know what the day holds. So instead of confronting it head on, you hit the snooze button, hoping that the next 9 minutes will make it all go away.

And then, Bam! The alarm goes off again and the pain is still there. So you resign yourself to pull off the covers, and slowly make your way to the shower, where you again have this hope that the warm water will wash it all away.

But it’s still there. The ache. And it’s deep. With every moment, every movement, you feel it. You can think of little else but the pain. And the reason for it’s being.

So you try being productive, again hoping that the busyness of the day will help you overcome it. That ‘mind over matter’ will come into play. But you can’t shake it. And the reality hits you…

You have done this to yourself. You have allowed the pain you are currently experiencing to become a reality because you were not diligent enough to take care of you, first and foremost. And you knew it. Months ago. But there was always something that drove you to make excuses for certain behaviors because you didn’t fight for what you knew was best for you.

Life has a way of making you confront your realities. Sometimes it’s an ache deep inside. One that is there to show you, to teach you, that neglecting YOU, hurts.

I personally, have been neglecting me. And my truth is, that in order for me to be the woman I desire to be will require even more sacrifice, and more pain. It will require a certain focus and dedication to becoming a better me. Is it going to cost me? Is it going to hurt? Yes. It is.

And I ask myself, is it worth it? It better be.

Working out blows… But if I don’t suck it up, I will have to purchase a one piece swimsuit this summer. NOT gonna happen. So… bring on the pain!