Interviews with Cocktails

I recently heard dating referred to as a gathering of data, which we use to determine compatibility. And those of us currently in this process know how hard it is without evaluating what it is we are looking for, and ultimately who.

Yes, I said ‘those of us currently’…. What can I say? Old habits die hard. I wonder though, if maybe I’ve been doing it wrong. After all, I am still single, much to my own choosing, but still.

Should the dating process instead be more formatted like an interview process? We have to go through requirements for a job, so why are we flippant in our choice of a companion? What if we initially get very definitive in what it is we are after and how the process will go, instead of letting ‘fate’ decide?

Let’s walk this out….

Like determining our initial prerequisites before even handing out our phone number.

Is this going to be a temporary position? Part-time? Do they hold a current position? Are they willing to advance? What are some key words you seek to read? Will childcare be necessary? Is relocation an option? Do their values line up with your mission statement? Will this require a gym membership?

If they pass the prereqs, then move onto the first interview. Just instead of a stuffy conference room, we get to now boast in who we are and how we feel like a great candidate over cocktails and appetizers.

Certain characteristics can be seen in a person while dining out. Whether they are polite to the waitress. Their drink of choice (and consumption amount). Whether they are impatient waiting for their meal. Even how they tip says something. And most of the time after about an hour, you know whether they are a real candidate, and a second interview can then be established.

That’s where deeper revelations come. Finding out all the ins and outs of how and why they are who they have become. Their children and family stories. Stories of childhood and adolescence, and even past dating relationships are not off the table. Sounds crazy, but the data compiled seems to be accurate. Surprisingly so. And you get a glimpse of the prospect across from you.

If the person is still meeting criteria, the position can then be offered with a 90 day evaluation period. If after this point, when real potential is shown, and you realize they are a fit and won’t be jumping ship if something else is offered, that’s when you present your full time offer and the benefits of the position.

Yet, if they don’t, though a great person with great qualities, with great charisma, you say thank you for applying, and file that one away.

And then you keep interviewing. And keep interviewing. And keep interviewing.

With this thought in mind, I have updated my online profile’s ‘Perfect Match’ to read:

I have learned while dating that I know what really matters to me and what I actually want, or don’t want in a potential mate. 

A few key determining factors:

Christian- this defines me. I want this in a mate

Respect- is a must. On both fronts. 

Job- required. I don’t make enough to support your habits and mine. 

Own/rent your own home- moms walking in are a no-go. Roommates are up for discussion

Investments- I need time to invest in a relationship. I come whole and want someone who is emotionally available for possible future potential. However, drinks and dinner do not constitute an investment for me.

Sex- benefits don’t come just because you paid for dinner. I am by far a prude. But I value my self worth. 

Children- I have a perfect record raising 2 great kids. I don’t have a desire to break my record.  

Applications being accepted.