Online Insanity

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

Albert Einstein has been credited for this quote although there is nothing to substantiate he ever said it. But whoever did was on to something, because I had officially gone insane.

A year ago after a few glasses of wine, a close friend decided to create a new online dating profile. She was ready to get back in the dating game and had grown tired of doing nothing every day. Day in and day out we had coffee and wine. She would come to my house every morning and we would drink coffee on my front porch. Then when she and I would get off work, she would come over again and we would split a meal, and drink wine on that same porch until one of us deemed it bedtime. You would have thought she lived here.

I had already done the online dating thing. Twice. I had gone on several dates, but had not had a defining moment with any, so I had taken a short online dating hiatus. But, in support of my friend, that evening I logged back into my account, completely updated my profile, and got back out there with her. I figured third time was a charm right?!

I had forgotten how much work online dating is. Likes and messages flooded my inbox. Matches and potential dates were abundant. My friend and I went from speaking while having coffee and wine, to texting while having coffee and wine. It was, in one word: Exhausting.

Very quickly, our lives were different. Which is what she wanted, but not in the way she wanted it.

For those of you reading who have never had to go through the online dating process, I envy you. Really. But to give you some insight, it goes a little something like this:

See a cute guy/gal. Like photo or send hello message. Wait. Reply (or don’t). Wait. Reply (or don’t). Wait. Conversation ensues (this can be hours, days or weeks worth of time). Wait. Phone numbers are exchanged. Wait. Question of a date is asked. Go to dinner. Wait.

Sounds fairly simple, doesn’t it… It’s not… The waiting can be a killer. Trust me. I have a number of friends who the waiting has gotten the better of them. Not knowing if the other person likes you. Not knowing if you should text them or call them. Not knowing. And waiting…. Sometimes the wait is worth it and you have a tasty meal with great conversation. Which sometimes can turn into more than one date. But more often than not, the waiting is often accompanied by silence, and silence is sometimes just too much.

Silence + Insecurity =A totally different definition of Insanity

For men and women alike, a strong backbone and a lot of self confidence is necessary to have a good online experience. Because if you don’t, the results can really put you in a funk. I know this from my first experience online as I was not ready to date then. The second go round is another story for another time.

Online dating, and just dating in general, takes a lot of work, a lot of time, and a whole lot of guts. I enjoyed my time online and learned many lessons about myself and others in the process. I highly recommend it. And insanely, I will do so a fourth time I am quite sure.

Oh! And my friend… After 11 months, several failed first dates and potential relationships, and a lot of waiting…. she is in a great relationship with a great guy she met online…. Just sayin:)